Roadkill

Slumped in front of the telly in that zombie like state familiar to any 4am riser, I happened to find myself watching River Cottage. For those unfamiliar with the show, a chef called Hugh Fittingly Wittering (or something like that ) takes on a cottage in the country where he lives off the land raising his own animals and growing stuff, which he then shows us how to cook in weird and wonderful ways.

I don't know why I was watching it exactly as I'm highly unlikely to raise my own pigs here in central Birmingham, I'm sure the neighbour would take issue with the noise for one thing, mind you bearing in mind she is known as the foghorn, perhaps she'd not even notice? Anyway those recipes are unlikely to get tried round our house but I could, I suppose, have a go at today's, which involved fresh roadkill.....

Roadkill he drove around until he FOUND, I should point out. I very much doubt channel 4 allow their presenters to be filmed hunting down a nice juicy pheasant in their 4x4s, although it would make for gripping tv! I hasten to add for those of you thinking the worst, when I say used, he didn't stir fry the roadkill or anything like that, marinading it fiorst in m&s sweet chilli, he actually used the carcass to bait an eel trap in the river, it was the eels he then cooked......mmmm eels fed on nice fresh roadkill, tasty!.....

As I watched him driving round the country lanes in search of the roadkill , I thought how much easier it would have been round Warwick,where not a mile goes by without some (usually large) wild beasty being pasted to the tarmac. Removing them

would be no problem long as you've a nice flat spade in yer boot. Soon have it scraped free of the tarmac.Not sure how the eels'd respond to pancaked pheasant but what the hey........

Surprisingly however, the road kill around Warwick never includes rabbits of which there is an abundance, I'd have to assume the little blighters are too busy engaging in sexual intercourse to cross roads ergo getting pancaked........ Btw, if we are at it like rabbits what are rabbits at it like I wonder?.........

An animal (bird) in ample quantities of deadness is the pheasant which, must surely, be the dumbest of all creatures? How they manage to stay alive long enough to create baby pheasants is beyond me?..... "hey baby how's about you and I get to makin some new pheasants huh?”.....screeechhhhhhh THUD .........

I spotted a plump badger on the way here this morning I might do a nice eel pie for Mr's Me from Guyscliffe later. I hope the bugger fits in the boot and really is dead! I'd hate to be half way to Birmingham and an angry badger suddenly wakes up to wreak havoc in my motor vehicle, its bad enough keeping the car on the road when your trying to swot a wasp or something so I'd rather not wrestle resurrected roadkill. Its probably even against some obscure bp health and safety rule.