Warwick In Bloom(ers)

With my new travel distance to the lovely Warwick everyday I have time and occasion to see many weird and wonderful sights. Such as the old lady this morning, apparently wearing a cheetah skin coat!

Chunky fur in style it was brown with big black splodges looking for all the world like a cheetah at the bus stop. It nearly buried the old dear and I pondered how it made her look like a pimp from the 70s.Albeit a grey haired old lady style pimp from the 70's

Last seen romping across the Savannah the Cheetah coat now adorned the old lady as if she were stood inside a tent. Maybe she hoped it would make her appear bigger and deter would be bag snatchers, to me she looked like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch, which should be deterrent enough in itself.

For all I know the pimps of Warwick could indeed be little grey haired old ladies in outsized overcoats and I wondered how she controlled her beeatches? Usually they patrol their turf in flash motors so her waiting for a bus could be misleading, perhaps the Jag was in for service.

Another more disturbing sight came at the top of a big hill into the town and again featured a little old lady who was sat atop the hill, on a bench, facing the incoming visitors to town, ie me.

Unfortunately she was sat with her legs wide open and, the way the hill curves, all us drivers had an unrestricted and unwanted view of her undergarments! (Big and white, cos I know Mikey will ask). Luckily i'm not of a nervous disposition and I managed to keep the car on the road but I was definitely slightly traumatised and demonstrating symptoms of shock.

Fair play to the old dear though, if she wants to air her drawers on a sunny Warwick morning, then who I am to quibble? I just wished she saved the show for after rush hour, I'm far to tender in years to be exposed to old ladies knickers, I'd want to be at least 100 before that starts happening as a regular occurrence, at least at that age I should be able to appreciate the view.

I cant comment on whether the underwear were Marks and Spencers own....