The X Factor is back! Yes, Britain's glorified karaoke competion begins again with the only weeks worth watching, the freaks n geeks who's friends are clearly deaf! How can they claim friendship and then allow their 'friend' to make complete twats of themselves on national television?
The Micheal Jackson fanatics are my personal favorite, professing their undying devotion before going on to butcher one of his classics!
Its the guilty pleasure of laughing at these poor sad saps that troubles me though, it's car crash television, you know your going to watch something horrific and its deeply wrong but you still sit there happily glued to the sofa with the 11 million other ghouls.(not the same sofa obviously)
Like a modern day reenactment of Victorian freak shows, the x factor wheels out freak after freak, "and now for your visual and auditory entertainment the elephant man will sing beat it by micheal Jackson"
I've also never seen one that doesn't do the dance, have one spangly glove and the trousers too short for their legs! Where the hell they get all this crap is beyond me, apart from Saturdays guy who apparently made his whole 'costume' himself! I think that's one of the most scary things i've ever typed....how long do you think it would take for a madman to knock up a Micheal ensemble in his bedsit above the chippy? The jacket alone must take weeks.
Watching the guy on Saturday I kept remembering the scene from silence of the lambs where the mad fella makes himself a suit out of peoples skin, granted he didn't then go and bust a moonwalk while warbling human nature but the visual seemed eerily apt...at least to me!.Unfortunately this also led to remembering the scene when he tucked his willy between his legs....uuughhh! The mad fella that is not the jacko, I don't think jacko even had a willy..
On the subject of mad Jacko fans I have a friend, name of Al, who is a rabid long term jacko fan and while, clearly not mad, he does possess a dazzling array of ocd's! I've a strong suspicion that we, his true friends, could maybe talk him into next years auditions? I for one would pay to see it!
He is most certainly capable of producing his own costume, he isn't into dressmaking don't get me wrong, but what the lad can do with a few rolls of sticky tape and a permanent marker is legend!
Another factor in my suspicion that he could join the ranks of impersonators is, he can do the dance to a tee! I've seen the lad moonwalk and he might be short, the ankle swinger pants would be a problem, but he sure can move!
I'm not sure if he can sing but as previously pointed out, that's very much not a prerequisite, either way we'd be on a winner, if he howls like 2 cats fighting in a bag? Comedy gold, if alternately he can hold a tune we go all out to make him a contender!
Al in the final would garner votes the world over! I reckon we could even get him sponsored by Pepsi Zambia, In a strange tribute to the infamous hair aflame commercial that never was!
