Warwick In Bloom(ers)

With my new travel distance to the lovely Warwick everyday I have time and occasion to see many weird and wonderful sights. Such as the old lady this morning, apparently wearing a cheetah skin coat!

Chunky fur in style it was brown with big black splodges looking for all the world like a cheetah at the bus stop. It nearly buried the old dear and I pondered how it made her look like a pimp from the 70s.Albeit a grey haired old lady style pimp from the 70's

Last seen romping across the Savannah the Cheetah coat now adorned the old lady as if she were stood inside a tent. Maybe she hoped it would make her appear bigger and deter would be bag snatchers, to me she looked like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch, which should be deterrent enough in itself.

For all I know the pimps of Warwick could indeed be little grey haired old ladies in outsized overcoats and I wondered how she controlled her beeatches? Usually they patrol their turf in flash motors so her waiting for a bus could be misleading, perhaps the Jag was in for service.

Another more disturbing sight came at the top of a big hill into the town and again featured a little old lady who was sat atop the hill, on a bench, facing the incoming visitors to town, ie me.

Unfortunately she was sat with her legs wide open and, the way the hill curves, all us drivers had an unrestricted and unwanted view of her undergarments! (Big and white, cos I know Mikey will ask). Luckily i'm not of a nervous disposition and I managed to keep the car on the road but I was definitely slightly traumatised and demonstrating symptoms of shock.

Fair play to the old dear though, if she wants to air her drawers on a sunny Warwick morning, then who I am to quibble? I just wished she saved the show for after rush hour, I'm far to tender in years to be exposed to old ladies knickers, I'd want to be at least 100 before that starts happening as a regular occurrence, at least at that age I should be able to appreciate the view.

I cant comment on whether the underwear were Marks and Spencers own....

6 Pack And No Need Of A Torch

Hesitant as I am to broach the subject of feminine hygeine products, I feel it my duty as a retail professional to make some suggestions.

It should be noted that I base these suggestions on my experience of the subject....I mean in a retail sense of course.....

Being as I can remember a time when we carried 3 or 4 of these products and seemed to manage perfectly fine it is with some surprise I note our range today, (which btw changes seemingly every 3 weeks, lillets to always to tampax back to lillets and so on) as we now have about 33 varieties of the same thing, long ones, short ones, extra absorbent and now even night time specific ones …...I have no idea? Perhaps they glow in the dark........the logistical nightmare of managing the change over in range is headache inducing and compounded by their tendency to be shoplifted......which is mind boggling in itself, where's the market exactly? I can imagine our steaks being sold in the local pub for example but a guy sidling up to you with a coat full of night time always, "half the retail price guvnor AND they glow in the dark"

And so to my suggestions,
1. how about we stick with the same range for a least 2-3 months?
2. Considering the volume of different ones as listed above should we consider a variety pack?

If you send us some stickers I'm quite willing, ala crème egg deal, to make our own using old baguette bags....