Would solo bondage work? Couples try it all the time to spice things up but what about the poor sods who live on their lonesome, don't they deserve a little spice as well?
Don't see why they couldn't tie themself to the bedstead, i'm sure theres some kind of self tightening knot that'd do the job.
I know your supposed to have a safety word for release in the case of emergency, bit pointless really if your the only one playing but,
I suppose the answer would be to keep a phone handy, imagine the call? 'Yeah i'm tied to my head board.... stop laughing please and send help'
Personally i couldn't ever contemplate bondage as i know for a fact i'd tie mr's andy up then wander off to get some essential acoutrement only to forget all about the poor woman. Believe me she'd not be happy lying there trying to spit out her ball gag!
Then theres the gear, i'd feel daft dressed up like a gay metal head, leathers far to sweaty. I cant even say i find the womens stuff sexy, crotchless just looks drafty, theres no obvious allure.
And what about all those zips? I'd never find anything! All thoughts of lust would disappear quickly as i try locate my car keys.
Flex, Aim, Fire
I've had some a spate of urinal related curiosities of late.......panic not propriety fans, i hav,nt pee'd on the guy next to me, a life long dread, imagine a noise startled you at the wrong moment and you jerked around in fright, thereby inadvertently spraying the poor guy next to you, ruining for ever his beige chinos?......
what i mean is, a couple of weeks ago at a venue for our territory manangement meeting, we lads encountered the worlds highest urinals.
People of average leg length, such as myself, had to aim upward as it were, luckily mine comes fully flex....umm, unless aroused that is, although i have to state that is NEVER an issue at the urinals..
This week i'm at a hotel for a food safety course, only to find the worlds lowest urinals! Clearly sited for small boys, of which there are none on the course!
Again with the flexing i made good the difference and, downward in any case is pretty natural but i'm perplexed as to the vagries in urinal design, i would have thought there'd be a universal design size.
Possibly even a european union regulation?!
what i mean is, a couple of weeks ago at a venue for our territory manangement meeting, we lads encountered the worlds highest urinals.
People of average leg length, such as myself, had to aim upward as it were, luckily mine comes fully flex....umm, unless aroused that is, although i have to state that is NEVER an issue at the urinals..
This week i'm at a hotel for a food safety course, only to find the worlds lowest urinals! Clearly sited for small boys, of which there are none on the course!
Again with the flexing i made good the difference and, downward in any case is pretty natural but i'm perplexed as to the vagries in urinal design, i would have thought there'd be a universal design size.
Possibly even a european union regulation?!
Shining My Metaphorical Halo
For all my good intentions not to, i still have a tendency to use the occasional profanity, i'm a man of ltd vocabluary, i need swear words to bulk it out.
Obviously as a consequence, i myself am not easily shocked and can hear all manner of effing an blindin without blinking an eye. Therefore it bothers me greatly that i am so acutely embarrased by the word knob!
Whenever i use it, or hear it used, even in the most innocent context, i feel like a naughty schoolboy, stopping short of giggling nervouslyt but almost certainly blushing like a guilty tomato. Its not even spelt like the...ahem..naughty nob?
Why does it sound so decadent? I blame bloody catholocism.
Anything that conjures up thoughts of my willy automatically kicks in the catholic guilt! Only catholicism could overlook every deadly sin known to mankind and then prop masturbation up as numero uno! Thou shalt not shine thy knob.....
Another aspect of guilt that troubles me lately is, ironically linked to my attempts to NOT use swearwords. In expressing extreme annoyance i forgo FFS in favour of for God's sakes!
This is all well and good except for when i'm in the presence of religeous folk! Such as the lovely old guy at work who worships God and Jesus with every ounce of hs being and who now has to hear me blaspheming 17 times a day!
I can guarantee that every time i'm for Gods saking, our resident holy man is wthin earshot! i end up apologsing and, i can only hope, convincing him that i too like God and am, in my own strange way, keeping his name alive and active! I'm not sure he is buying this?
As a probable consequence he speaks about jesus at every possible juncture, feelng perhaps that i need it. He's quite skilled, he can shoe horn JC into any conversation seamlessly. I now speak of increasingly random topics to see how creatve the' jesus s my savour' gets.
Obviously as a consequence, i myself am not easily shocked and can hear all manner of effing an blindin without blinking an eye. Therefore it bothers me greatly that i am so acutely embarrased by the word knob!
Whenever i use it, or hear it used, even in the most innocent context, i feel like a naughty schoolboy, stopping short of giggling nervouslyt but almost certainly blushing like a guilty tomato. Its not even spelt like the...ahem..naughty nob?
Why does it sound so decadent? I blame bloody catholocism.
Anything that conjures up thoughts of my willy automatically kicks in the catholic guilt! Only catholicism could overlook every deadly sin known to mankind and then prop masturbation up as numero uno! Thou shalt not shine thy knob.....
Another aspect of guilt that troubles me lately is, ironically linked to my attempts to NOT use swearwords. In expressing extreme annoyance i forgo FFS in favour of for God's sakes!
This is all well and good except for when i'm in the presence of religeous folk! Such as the lovely old guy at work who worships God and Jesus with every ounce of hs being and who now has to hear me blaspheming 17 times a day!
I can guarantee that every time i'm for Gods saking, our resident holy man is wthin earshot! i end up apologsing and, i can only hope, convincing him that i too like God and am, in my own strange way, keeping his name alive and active! I'm not sure he is buying this?
As a probable consequence he speaks about jesus at every possible juncture, feelng perhaps that i need it. He's quite skilled, he can shoe horn JC into any conversation seamlessly. I now speak of increasingly random topics to see how creatve the' jesus s my savour' gets.
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