Wanderer's Return

Sammy is back! Sam of Wednesbury is now looking after the Solihull massive and so becomes...Sam of Solihull, well done, your keeping up so far.

Having been off the last couple of years adding to the worlds population explosion,(Wednesbury is now so overcrowded the local council is asking people to share trousers, one leg each, At weekends Sam and Mr Sam share a nice pair of beige chinos) she is now back and rearing to go. Almost immediately on stepping from her beloved Robin Reliant (only 3 previous owners 2 nuns and Bishop Tutu, not the Bishop Tutu, another one) she spotted an opportunity, you see Solihull is unique among petroleum forecourts and convenience emporiums in that, it is the only one that shares the forecourt with an undertakers!

Sam being the retail professional of many a year sees this as a massive bonus that we should be highlighting via the pole sign......bp...m&s...carwash...toilet...undertakers..

As she said to me,

"imagine the average customer popping in to pick up some bits and pieces mentally ticking off their list, Beans, Bread, Milk, Bury Granny, Soap powder"

Its a sure fire winner and no mistake!

The other aspect she likes is that the guy who runs the undertakers lives above the place and, apart from hoping bumps in the night ARE intruders, this gives them added security and staff on tap 24/7. Something we at bp should emulate she insists. Young duty managers starting out on the property ladder could rent some rooms above the store and be ready for action whenever called upon!

Sammy, you think of everything.

Love Is In The Sales

Here on the day of love we rose to the challenge of adding a bit of Valentines 'Theatre' to our stores by going one step further than the usual balloons, ribbons and floral extravaganzas.

We decided we would co-opt a member of staff into playing our very own in store cupid!

We chose the traditional depiction of a curly haired cherubic cupid and dressed the staff member accordingly. With the aid of his moms rollers,(for the curls) and a nappy( adult incontinent pants, cheap and surprisingly absorbent!) he certainly looked the part. Initially he was reluctant to stride round the store dressed only in a nappy but once threatened with counselling he soon relented . I checked where we stood on that with Janet T and she confirmed it was a reasonable request to get a staff member to aid with sales.....

The incontinent pants served a dual purpose as we were able to keep him out there for hours without the need of toilet breaks.....

Unfortunately the lads somewhat wholesome figure tended to frighten some of the female customers as he followed them around with his bow and arrow, and we also had to abandon suspending him from the ceiling due to safety concerns. The 100 or so clipstrips proved insufficient to hold him and we didn't want some poor unsuspecting customer suddenly piggy backing a half naked cupid around the food to go!

Windows 2100

I've noticed of late that there are new style hearses on the market. By on the market I don't mean i've been looking to buy one, but i've seen them out and about and understand that the discerning bereaved loved ones can now choose an all new hearse with bigger windows! Huge they are, like a massive mobile fish tank only without the little bridge and coloured stones. I assume this all round extravaganza of glass is to enable bigger and better floral tributes to be displayed as the deceased makes that final journey, giving mourners and general bystanders a nice panoramic view of the whole show....as it were.... This got me to thinking about my own sad passing, for it will happen one day, and I think my wishes viz a vee my final final transport should be known, I, of course, now want the big fancy hearse complete with a large all round floral tribute in two words that stretch all round interior, only I want the letters scrambled so that general bystanders have to work for their free entertainment and the anagram should be, ESH EDDA!