Payback

Italian words spoken by a rich Brummie accent do not lend themselves to ease of understanding.

A woman had to ask me 5 times today if we stocked Mascarpone before I realised she wasn't actually asking me for a massive pony. Being asked for any sized pony could be construed as unlikely but when you've seen as many loopy customers as I have........

B.t.w, Sarah, before you say it, I do know what Mascarpone is! I'm a classy guy we have it on toast all the time in our ouse)

A woman phoned up the store and asked for our boy-scouts department! I've been asked before for, lingerie, children's clothes and and light fittings departments, but boy scouts? I told her we don't have one but I'm happy to tie her a few knots if she's stuck.

After work today I followed a customer home, marched confidently into their living room and proceeded to move all their ornaments into improbable locations. I then asked their poor unsuspecting children lots of inane questions before grumbling bitterly about everything and anything I could think of. Having littered their floor with used diesel gloves and left some graffiti in their toilet, (bp offer details, never miss an opportunity folks) I promptly left.