Rubber Women Save The Planet

One of the roads I travel to work in the morning has a new traffic scheme whereby the powers that be have converted a bus lane into a 2 persons or more lane. Now, I don't take anyone to work with me and bearing in mind my morning persona that's probably for the best, so I am banned from the new lane and must slum it with all the other singletons in the bumper to bumper traffic. To be honest i've never been in traffic that was going slower than the new lane so in actual fact the thing is pretty pointless but damn it I want to use it! I don't like being banned from anything but the petty police we have in this city would be on you like flies for driving in the lane on your lonesome, I mean it would use up time and save them having to tackle any actual real crime.

My consternation at this dilemma got me to thinking and I have come up with a plan. I'm going to purchase a blow up doll! To act as my passenger you understand. I discounted mannequins due to lack of lifelike qualities whereas blow up dolls are now reputed to be more realistic than ever.although certain of their dubious features will not be necessary for my purposes. Problem being I won't purchase such an item on my card as I'd never be able to look the bank lady in the eye again so it has to be cash and therefore a trip to a sex shop!

Now I foresee a sex shop exchange being somewhat similiar to the condom buying trevails of my teenage years. Back then you could only get them at the chemist and each trip was fraught with embarrassment. I could never get the discreet, quiet old guy oh no it had to be the old lady with the knowing smile, loud mouth and bawdy sense of humour. I must have purchased half the shop in useless items trying to get what I actually wanted. Have you ever tried those bloody diabetic sweets?

There would of course be no diversions in the sex shop and (God willing!)no sign of any little old ladies, I wouldn't fancy the process of choosing the doll of course I mean would they believe I only want her for passenger duty? I doubt it and should I Iose my nerve I very much doubt they sell diabetic sweets, but on the plus side i'm sure they'd stock condoms. Although a simultaneous purchase of blow up doll and condoms might confuse them greatly!