Jargon Buster

Andy - The man behind the funny, also Store Manager
Me - Doing his dirty work
BP - British Petroleum
CSA - Customer (S - Dont Know) (A - Not too sure)
Solihull - A place
HHT - ( Something ) ( Something ) Terminal
BP M&S - Sells food, fuel, booze, no clothes, definitely no ponies
Undertaker - Andy's Neighbour
Ennit - Brummie Slang for Isn't It ( I think )

Anything Else - Go back to school!

Self Help

Would solo bondage work? Couples try it all the time to spice things up but what about the poor sods who live on their lonesome, don't they deserve a little spice as well?

Don't see why they couldn't tie themself to the bedstead, i'm sure theres some kind of self tightening knot that'd do the job.

I know your supposed to have a safety word for release in the case of emergency, bit pointless really if your the only one playing but,

I suppose the answer would be to keep a phone handy, imagine the call? 'Yeah i'm tied to my head board.... stop laughing please and send help'

Personally i couldn't ever contemplate bondage as i know for a fact i'd tie mr's andy up then wander off to get some essential acoutrement only to forget all about the poor woman. Believe me she'd not be happy lying there trying to spit out her ball gag!

Then theres the gear, i'd feel daft dressed up like a gay metal head, leathers far to sweaty. I cant even say i find the womens stuff sexy, crotchless just looks drafty, theres no obvious allure.

And what about all those zips? I'd never find anything! All thoughts of lust would disappear quickly as i try locate my car keys.

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