For all my good intentions not to, i still have a tendency to use the occasional profanity, i'm a man of ltd vocabluary, i need swear words to bulk it out.
Obviously as a consequence, i myself am not easily shocked and can hear all manner of effing an blindin without blinking an eye. Therefore it bothers me greatly that i am so acutely embarrased by the word knob!
Whenever i use it, or hear it used, even in the most innocent context, i feel like a naughty schoolboy, stopping short of giggling nervouslyt but almost certainly blushing like a guilty tomato.
Its not even spelt like the...ahem..naughty nob?
Why does it sound so decadent? I blame bloody catholocism.
Anything that conjures up thoughts of my willy automatically kicks in the catholic guilt! Only catholicism could overlook every deadly sin known to mankind and then prop masturbation up as numero uno! Thou shalt not shine thy knob.....
Another aspect of guilt that troubles me lately is, ironically linked to my attempts to NOT use swearwords. In expressing extreme annoyance i forgo FFS in favour of for God's sakes!
This is all well and good except for when i'm in the presence of religeous folk! Such as the lovely old guy at work who worships God and Jesus with every ounce of hs being and who now has to hear me blaspheming 17 times a day!
I can guarantee that every time i'm for Gods saking, our resident holy man is wthin earshot! i end up apologsing and, i can only hope, convincing him that i too like God and am, in my own strange way, keeping his name alive and active! I'm not sure he is buying this?
As a probable consequence he speaks about jesus at every possible juncture, feelng perhaps that i need it. He's quite skilled, he can shoe horn JC into any conversation seamlessly. I now speak of increasingly random topics to see how creatve the' jesus s my savour' gets.
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