Hazardous Counting

Not having attended the meeting I was unaware of the new requirement that we hazard tape a small square on our desks, for the purpose of cash counting.

Thankfully Nadine has now shown me the new process and we are once again compliant with company wishes,....sort of.....

We must now, using red and white hazard tape, create a square on our desk which will be covered by camera and within which all cash counting must be done.....I kid you now.....

I was confused as to the new cash counting square, is it cash only or does the person counting have to be within the square as well? If, for example, the camera is focused on the 'square' then its possible that only the counters hands will appear in shot. Now unless they have distinctive hands, such as a digit missing or a micheal jackson style skin complaint, then we will still be none the wiser, should the hands steal money.

With this in mind I took the decision that all counting must now be done within the 'hazard square'

Unfortunately this in itself presents a safety hazard. A counter personage will need to climb onto the counter(!) and position themselves inside the 'hazard square' to commence counting, now we can pretty safely ascend to the desk using only the elephants foot, but what about people such as young Liam who gets vertigo stepping up a curb? The possibility is we will arrive at work and find him frozen to the elephants foot clinging on for dear life, unable to step up or down. The night guy will be subsequently traumatised by the haunting noises emitting from the office as Liam howls for help, and all hell will have broken loose.

With this safety consideration in mind I have now installed a safety harness pully system above the 'hazard square' and Liam is quite comfortable being hoisted into cash counting position, we've also fitted a safety rail along the desk edge so he feels comfortable once up there. Bonus being the handyman did all the work so the cost was minimal.

We encountered one further problem with the, 'safe open door closed' rule, it isn't always possible to have 2 management on the same shift and so who would do the necessary hoisting at cash count time? With an extended pully system, fed through a newly created office door letterbox, we will be able to enlist a csa to hoist Liam aboard the desk, he can then keep the door locked and issue instructions from within, “higher, no lower, aaarrgggh I'm at the ceiling...lower lower....”

All in all I feel we are now ready to count cash in the safe and secure manner intended, with no more theft and all thanks to some hazard tape, abseiling gear and managerial ingenuity, isn't bp great?