Finger Puppets

For new managers one of the hardest aspects of retail life is handling discipline for staff, luckily the current Hula Hoop promotion gave me an idea to help mitigate this, thereby making life easier for managers everywhere. The answer of course is , Finger Puppet alter egos!!! The finger puppet, (deliberately made with an angry face) will act as the managers alter ego enabling the manager to switch between happy go lucky friend of the world to homicidal maniac in a split second, the time it takes to don the puppet basically, without becoming unpopular. But, I hear you stutter, staff wont follow a puppet surely? Fear not ye doubting Thomas's, it is all about rank, you tell people that the puppet is in charge and they will be eager to comply, I mean most of them will, at some stage, have had worse managers than a puppet right?

Of course this will require the manager to enact a certain degree of ventriloquy and the art of speaking without moving ones lips, (particularly when foaming at the mouth) is not an easy one. For this I suggest Botox. Check any Botoxed celebrity victim and you will notice not only do their lips not move but 2/3s of their lower face is frozen solid forever. Your RTM will authorise Botox via paid outs, I'd suggest managers repairs is perfect. The combination of the botox and a ventriloquy module on the el box, (Mr's Warsop is writing it now) will enable the manager to go about his business in a friendly manner, conversing with staff etc, while, via his new found skills in puppetry, the puppet appears everytime discipline is needed.

Imagine if you will that Carl of Stonebridge, for example, is chatting to Mary on the till about her bunions all sympathetic like and then he notices she has missed a tick on one of our many ticklists,instead of flipping his lid and spoiling the moment he whips out 'little Carl' who proceeds to berate Mary, meanwhile 'big' Carl can stand there without the sympathetic smile leaving his face!

For the rest of the shift then Mary gives the puppet the cold shoulder but still converses happily with Carl regaling him fully to her ailments.


As for the puppet this will need to be made carefully and should be wearing full bp uniform including miniature badges. Should you need assistance Brendan at Tamworth is a dab hand with the sowing machine ( Mrs Brendan insisted they share a hobby) and Clair at KN can help out with a badge maker. (I believe Tracey knocks them up in her shed)

Please note that the puppet should not be used to deal with RTM visits. I'm quite sure Mamas would chat happily with the finger puppet but its just not the done thing