Jargon Buster

Andy - The man behind the funny, also Store Manager
Me - Doing his dirty work
BP - British Petroleum
CSA - Customer (S - Dont Know) (A - Not too sure)
Solihull - A place
HHT - ( Something ) ( Something ) Terminal
BP M&S - Sells food, fuel, booze, no clothes, definitely no ponies
Undertaker - Andy's Neighbour
Ennit - Brummie Slang for Isn't It ( I think )

Anything Else - Go back to school!

Shoot The Shoplifter

New tack for shoplifting whereupon I get left in doorway shaking an angry fist as they hare off down the road steak in pants, I'm going to shout after them...STOP OR I SHOOT!

I expect they'll throw themselves to the floor wondering a)if I'm going to shoot and what with, b)wow bp have gotten strict and c)oh no I hope I haven't whiddled on the steak. In cases of c i reckon we'll stand the loss even if the steak has been recovered.

The shouting would prove doubly effective if accompanied by you pointing the hht at them and scanning as you do so,the infra red beam will convince them you've taken aim and are ready to shoot!

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